Ask Amy: My Daughter’s Husband Suddenly Said He Wanted A Divorce

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dear Amy: My daughter has been married for almost a year.

Her husband is in the military and they had to get married so she could live with him during the covid-19 lockdowns.

They live on an isolated military base. She takes care of the house, started a business, volunteers for the Red Cross and has a dog that takes care of her.

She’s just graduated from college, but there’s no work on base for her.

He came home from work last night and told her he had been unhappy for a while and wanted a divorce.

He said counseling would not help; his decision is made. Then he left and stayed with a friend. He won’t take her calls.

They both took premarital advice and have relationship books, so they have tools.

I told her to email her to express how she felt, because it’s not right for him to treat her like this. She is devastated and doesn’t even know what she did wrong.

Last month, they were talking about starting a family. How are they on the verge of divorce?

He’s been drinking quite a bit with his buddies in the last month. He just decided it’s over and she needs to pack up and leave?

What should be his first steps? She lives in several states, so it’s not possible to give her a hug, but I have to help her.

She is alone and devastated and does not know where to turn.

I encouraged her to see the pastor on base (he’s the only adviser), but she hesitated. Your advice?

J: Stay in close contact with your daughter. I agree that she should see the base chaplain. The chaplain can’t save her marriage, but that person will know the next steps the couple will need to take if they decide to separate – or if her husband alone decides to make this breakup permanent.

Military OneSource is a very useful online portal provided by the Department of Defense. The site covers most conceivable topics of importance to military families and offers a “live chat” function, as well as telephone support.

Your daughter’s first step should be to research her legal options and responsibilities. She married quickly – perhaps it would be better to dissolve this brief marriage quickly as well.

I understand that if this divorce becomes a legal reality, your daughter will lose her access to residential military housing.

As a supportive parent, you should encourage him to breathe, take things step by step, and – yes, (if possible) you should offer to help him pack the U-Haul.

dear Amy: I need advice!

I am a young adult hoping to break into the music industry. I use social media to network and connect with other artists – posting events, photos, etc.

My well-meaning Girl leaves comments and shares all my messages on her “page”.

It’s completely embarrassing and comes across as unprofessional. How do I get her to stop without hurting or blocking her? To help!

Off button: First of all … how sweet. I’m at the age and stage in life where I think proud chicks are pretty cool.

Once you grow it, you can “own” it with pride. In fact, your Nana’s fandom could be your secret superpower. There might be clever ways for you to use his pride and commitment to promote your work. (Example of endorsement: “Goth’s Earworm: easily as good as REO Speedwagon! (my Girl)”)

In the meantime, look for ways to “mute” their comments. You should be able to do this without her realizing it.

Also, be sure to engage through the best social channels for your career. Your Nana probably isn’t on TikTok (but if she is, you should probably follow her lead).

dear Amy: I appreciate your compassion regarding the loss of a pet. My dear Labrador passed away recently.

Agonizing over what to do as she was really struggling towards the end of her life, I reached out to Lap of Love (lapoflove.com) and they were amazing.

They provide home visits, palliative care, medical advice (telehealth), euthanasia and support in the event of loss of animals.

I am very grateful to the extremely kind and caring vet who helped us through a very difficult time.

– I miss my dog ​​in Connecticut.

I miss my dog: Taking care of a dying animal at home is a real gift.

©2022 by Amy Dickinson distributed by Tribune Content Agency


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